Artwork by Kelle with Scarlett Muse Henna

Artwork by Kelle with Scarlett Muse Henna

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Birthing at the Babymoon

My little baby turns one month old today. I know deep in my heart that if I do not sit down and write my birth experience it will never surface. Just as the incredible birth stories of my three spirited and yummy water birthed babies, Forest, Emerald, and Opal have been kept hidden deep within. I am determined to share, to be an advocate for some of the greatest women who walk this earth..................Midwives.

I fell in love with Babymoon Inn at "Hello".


And at the front door of course...it was the magic wands that melted my heart...



The director of Babymoon Inn, Julia, had me at "Hello" her sweet voice and reassuring nature was just what I needed at a time when I was feeling vulnerable and rejected. She listened to my story with an openness and tenderness. The story of how I have birthed all of my children at Anduluz Waterbirth Center in Portland, Oregon. How I flew 36 weeks pregnant with 3 kids (my niece went too,) just so I could have my third baby surrounded by family and friends and the midwife of my dreams. How I wanted more than anything to have the baby in Phoenix, but that I was just told by a midwife after the first prenatal that "it wasn't a good match". Julia listened as I explained how confused I was because I thought all midwives were the "same". I mean, I called my midwife in Oregon and told her that I felt like I was fired and she said, "come to Oregon... you can stay in my cottage.... my husband just put a birth tub in it.... and we can make and eat donuts for Christmas!!!" I just had no idea the variety of the different personalities... but, I get it now. Julia gave advice when asked, and shared when needed, and invited me into the world of THE VERY FIRST BIRTH CENTER IN PHOENIX, AZ (drum roll) The magical BABYMOON INN. Although, I was tempted to go and eat donuts with Jen I was also exited about the possibilities of being able to stay closer to home. After all, it was much warmer in AZ at Christmas time.

I soon found that the warmth also radiated from a beautiful space in downtown Tempe called Freedom and the Seed.... I should have listened to my friend Dawn the first time she made me promise to interview the midwives at FATS her words still echo in my head "you shouldn't choose a midwife by location, Amanda."
I have to admit the drive to Tempe was well worth it...
I fell in love with Marinah at the moment she took me in her arms, gave me a big hug and told me "I would take you in a heartbeat". From that moment on I knew she was the midwife for me.. She had me at first hug.



I was now thankful to the last midwife who told me that it wasn't a "good match". She was right, and it took courage on her part. I respect her for that.
I was now in the arms of the safest most loving group of women I could ask for and I canceled any future interviews.
The prenatal appointments at FREEDOM AND THE SEED were everything I could ask for and more...( and I expect a lot considering I had experienced the best care in Oregon). THE WAY TO A MOTHERS HEART IS THROUGH HER CHILDREN and the women at FATS treated my children with patience and grace and they were able to be involved every step of the way. They listened to baby's heartbeat, and were able to interact as much or as little as they wanted too. They were listened to and looked at with loving eyes and kind words and the girls at FATS won my heart. (yes, you Sarah, Wendi, and Marinah)


Sarah Butterfly thank you for your presence with my babies.
Grandma and Grandpa Noble were also welcomed with love and were able to make it to everyone of my prenatal appointments. This made me happy and loved and it meant a lot to me to have them with me and treated with such kindness.

My due date was Christmas Day and it came and went. I swore I would never tell anyone my due date again as I have had a history of my kids "cooking" longer than expected. Forest was 43 weeks, Emerald 42, and Opal was 41 weeks so of course I thought baby number 4 would be right on time. After all, I had shed a week off of each birth, right? It never entered my mind that I could go past the "legal" dates of 42 weeks in Arizona. I was living up to my "post dates" label ... I wasn't too concerned because I was late for everything but ..... well...... lets just say.... there was concern. I called my midwife in Oregon with all my "What Ifs", Her response, "its a short flight". Gotta love that girl!

Thankfully, at the next prenatal the essence of that appointment was one of support, making me feel that I have choices, and that there was no pressure. I am thankful that my water was not broken, that my membranes were not stripped, that I was not asked to drink castor oil,and was not forced to induce. Instead there was a reevaluation of my dates, we talked of how babies come when they come, and that every pregnancy is different. Of course I couldn't resist taking the Freedom and the Seed bike for a spin around Tempe. I remembered going into labor the night I rode my bike along the Portland river front (with Emerald) so when I saw that the girls at FATS had a bike. I was destined to ride........WWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEE as my family waited I peddled as fast as I could with a belly as large as..... well lets just say I got a lot of laughs and stares. I needed that ride after an intense appointment. It made me feel lighter.

Having late babies is still very much a mind trap: waiting, praying, hula hooping, making love, talking to baby, curb walking, waking up at 4am every morning craving Trader Joes salads, belly cast making.

I felt like we were beginning to wear on our family. They had been hosting us for over a month because we were from Lake Havasu City. It was beginning to feel like a Zoo at the house... 8 people, 4 dogs and 3 cats all under one roof..., awaiting baby's arrival. We went to the Children's Museum and the movies. Auntie April and Uncle Scott were troopers to say the least.
The girls were getting homesick so we had to make trips to get ice cream.

Eme

Opal

Finally, a Bloody Show(mucus plug), excitement for all..I even called my dad in Lake Havasu. I did let him know that there are some people who go another week like this. He said he might come up the next day.... but still no contractions. In the past once I had my bloody show the baby was born 2 hours later. This actually happened only with the girls. My first born, Forest's labor was closer to 40 hours long. Isn't that how most first births are? This time I went to bed and woke up the next morning and went with the whole family to the Phoenix Zoo. I walked and walked the Zoo and still no contractions!!! I just could not make sense of it. Marinah's words of wisdom "every birth is different".

My dad jumped on his Harley with my 8 year old niece and drove up to meet us for dinner. Why he couldn't take his truck is beyond me... He has the motorcycle bug. Markayla my niece would do anything to come to the birth, (she was at my last birth and it wouldn't have been the same without her,) so she hopped on the back of Grandpa's Harley and we all met up for dinner after the Zoo. The first thing my Dad says to me " you better have that baby tonight", "no pressure dad",I thought to myself...He explains that he has to leave in the early afternoon tomorrow because it gets too cold to ride. So,I only have a certain amount of time for them to be able to be at the birth...
Dinner at Chili's leads to surges 7-10 min. apart. Still not sure if we should head to Babymoon Inn or not we go back to the house to talk it over. I am out voted by my husband and sister-in-law. Off we went.....to BABYMOON INN!!!! (Cheers Please) All I wanted now was to go to the birth center to be in my birthing element and have this baby. Lets GO. On the car ride the surges were 5 min. apart and I had planned to send out a text to let some 30 people know I was heading to the birth sanctuary and to ask them to send prayers and light my way. I didn't send the text. I think subconsciously I was overwhelmed and that if I expected anyone else to come it would further delay my labor. If I sent the text then I might have to wonder if my BF in Havasu, Pam, would make it up in time...or that the photographer would come too soon, already feeling some serious pressure to perform I checked out... I didn't care about communicating with anyone. I look back now and I should have put someone in charge of that because I think once you are that far into labor there really isn't any clarity with regards to what is going on outside yourself. I would have liked the text to have been sent out. There were a couple people that I would have like to have been involved including, Jonathan's sister and niece.(who are both interested in becoming midwives) I have absolutely beautiful pictures of my other births but again the text included the number for the photographer. All I cared about now was getting to the birth center, to be in my birthing element and HAVE THIS BABY!!!!
Once we got to the birth sanctuary my surges were now back to 10 min. apart. I could feel everyone's excitement and I was surrounded by family and kids and 2 midwives following me around with a blood pressure cup and Doppler.. they were not really following me around.. I just felt like as Grandma Noble once said to me "your the star of this rodeo" , and I felt like the whole stadium was watching. Don't get me wrong, I wanted everyone to be there. It was my fourth birth. I thought of it as a gift (to be at a birth) one of the greatest gifts my BF Amy could have given me.(the first and only birth besides my own I have attended) I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I just couldn't understand why my labor wasn't progressing. Then I remember a statement I read about adding an hour of labor for every person attending your birth and I thought to myself hummmmm this might be a long night... So after 4 hours of laboring with contractions 7-10 min apart. I asked Marinah to check me.
3 CM DILATED AND 85% EFFACED
I was officially discouraged!!!
Did I mention that there were 15 people at the birth including me and baby.
It was 2am in the morning and I talked with my midwives about fear of the unknown and they suggested I try and get some rest and take a homeopathic remedy. I tried to tell them that I wasn't really that afraid... but now that I look back on it, I was afraid of letting people down. There was a lot riding on this birth. My husband wanted a boy so that he could name it after his father. My dad wanted to leave in the morning. Forest my 10 year old whom we had already changed his flight once, was suppose to leave in 24 hours to be with his dad in Portland, OR. I was already just making the 42 week cut off and I didn't want anyone to feel liable for me and I was going to birth the first baby born at the Babymoon Inn.
We talked about acceptance and they gave me a homeopathic remedy and suggested I get some rest. They were going to give me some space. Rest with contractions 10 min. apart...(Really) just sleep or meditate in between them. Funny, I thought to myself and after they gave me some space I noticed that the party at the sanctuary had settled and not one person in the place was awake but me. I got up out of the bed because I new that there would be no sleeping until the baby came out. It was now time for me to get familiar with the bath tub. I needed to come to acceptance about a few things... first was that the bath tub was different than what I was used to. So I jumped in and played with all the buttons. It is a very high tech bathtub with all the bells and whistles. It had lights and jets and I tried out everything. Then I decided that I was thirsty.


I waddled out to the kitchen and listened as at least 3 people were snoring in unison. My father lying on a hard wood floor with no blanket and pillow snoring away. There were people sleeping sitting up in chairs and lying across cushions on the floor and I thought to my self, " I must really be loved".

I opened the refrigerator door which was conveniently stocked with all sorts of goodies. My choice, a carbonated juice orange drink and coconut juice and I walked "double fisted" through all the sleeping people. I was in search of a birth cave. I am usually pretty comfortable on the toilet and the bathroom at the Babymoon Inn was fabulous. I might not have had much more of a choice, every room but the bathroom had people sleeping in it.




I love the angels watching over me while I labored in the bathroom.

I entered the cave with drinks in hand and thought about all of the things that I needed to come to acceptance with. I accepted that I would not let my dad or anyone leave until this baby comes out... So much for acceptance, I thought to myself, and the surges started to become closer together and much more intense. I didn't have anyone to time them and I was ok with that. I tried every position to get me through but the only position that was working for me was to use my imaginary hula hoop.
I have been hula hooping for over a year and hooped through my pregnancy. I claim to be a "hooparista" like a barista at Starbucks but I make hoops instead of drinks. Who knew that the only thing that was getting me through these surges was to stand naked in front of a mirror hula hooping and repeating the word..open..open... open...




WOW... I kept thinking to myself I could feel my lips quiver with that one... these are pretty intense.
I drank coconut water in between and couldn't get the thought out of my mind,
"Why can't I have an orgasmic birth",
I don't have any "gigantic emotional issues"
This is my fourth birth!!!
I could feel my whole body shudder.
Just keep hooping... open... open... open....
Is it too much for a girl to ask for an orgasmic birth!!!!! Don't I deserve one.... Come on!!!! I have worked through all of my issues....
Wow... these are not surges... these are contractions.... no!!! these are not contractions... these are like death grips from hell....
Ok Ok the ultimate goal...
Ohhhhh the baby on the wall...
I want one like that a beautiful little baby just like that one....



Ok... Ok... work together baby... I am working. I love you baby, I love you.
My whole jaw quivering..breath...breath...
I feel like someone is stabbing me with these huge stainless steel forks, like 14 of them and twisting them into the lower half of my baby belly..
And then I realize that the window is near and that I have a possibility of getting out of here, and I picture myself climbing out of the window, running down the street to St. Joes hospital and having an emergency C section...
Just cut the baby out I thought to myself whatever it takes!!!
Then picturing myself walking back with the baby in my arms.
The surge, contraction, death grip, ended and I knew at that moment...for me to have those thoughts meant that I WAS IN TRANSITION.
Time to wake up my husband. Honey, I need your help... Ohhhhhhh hold me up and as I said that my knees buckled it was excruciating and I left his arms and jumped into the bathtub. It was still warm. Let Marinah know.

Help me honey!!!.... (that means make birth noises with me.)
During my birth with Opal I labored most of it in the water and what a difference. My friend Julianne was in the room when I was having surges and I remember looking up at her and saying "help." She started humming OOOOOMMMMMMMMM and then everyone in the room was humming. I would tell them when a surge was coming and they would all sound in and the vibration even rippled on the water. My favorite part was it took away from me being self conscience about my birth noises. It was the least painfull birth that I had. People used to asked me if the water helped labor and I always answered "I am not sure, I usually labor the whole time in the water." I can now tell you... Yes! there is a huge difference. Laboring in the water is much less painful.
I could feel the energy of people trickling in the room. I could see a silouette (later I found out is was Scott) sitting by the bed. I remember saying "if you are going to be in here you better make noise with me"... ooooooommmmmmmm.... these ones seemed a little more forceful than the ones at Opal's birth...OOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM... begging for God's Mercy.

I am trying to connect with my Mom my beautiful Mama who left for heaven and lost her battle with breast cancer.....

I look over at her picture and the light of the candle and I feel her. Jesus, Mom, please help me, and I hear my Dad's voice...."Your Mom is here....she is right here with you," and I feel her in my heart.

Barf bucket. I need a Barf bucket!!! I knew in my mind what that meant. I always barf before I push.. four times is usually the ticket...
and I don't think I will be drinking coconut juice anytime soon....

I ask everyone in the room to please pray for me.... and I feel this burst of light and love enter the room and I hear Marinah say "Dear Lord Jesus I pray for Amanda" and I sense her grounded presence next to the tub.
I then feel Sarah put a doppler up against my lower belly and I couldn't help but say, "get that thing off of me." She did and I couldn't imagine being in a hospital.

I am on my hands and knees. I feel the urge to push... and I have to tell you... this is my favorite part. The adrenalin must kick in at this point because I can't wait for what is next...an instinctual push and I feel the baby's head, I reach down to touch it and I feel the sweetest, softest energy I have ever felt. It is almost as if I am touching a glimpse of heaven. I could never put it into words.
I sense Marinah going in for the "catch", and then I hear my husband, "If it is ok, I got this one". Marinah's energy pulls back and with one more push I say "baby get out" in a cute kinda sassy Mama way.... Baby was caught by my most amazing supportive husband and I here him say, IT'S A BOY. The room blew up!!!! It was like a football stadium with cheers, screams, and oohhh and aaaawwws..TOUCHDOWN there were even tears of joy. Little Will Malachite Noble has made his appearance. Apgar Score 9-10 Grandpa William Noble cut the umbilical cord.

Born at 4:13am William Malachite Noble 8lbs.

Malachite


Forest and his new little brother.


10 years old and 1 day old little feet


Wills first long sleep on the Babymoon bed.


Mani helping Will to make his mark.


Footprints on the Babymoon wall.

Thank you to Babymoon Inn for the Blessings Way in a box.The gift certificate to Scarlett Muse Henna. My girls love their Babymoon shirts that say Big Sister.

Babymoon Inn is a magical place that is both earthy and organic with touches of class and sparkle. It is by far the most heartfelt birthing sanctuary in all the land. Thank you Shell, Mani, Traci and Julia for your life's work. It is the little thoughtful details that make it so special. You, my friends, will have to find out for yourself.

I love that you let me hang all three of my belly cast's at the Babymoon Inn so that it felt more like home.

Thank you Freedom and the Seed love, love, love your life's work and you. Marinah, Wendi,and Sarah... Midwives are so important to this world. You sacrifice so much to do what you do. I am honored to know you. Pheonix is so blessed to have you.
How ironic Marinah that you have worked in birth centers before and I have birthed in birth centers before and we were destined to meet up at the Babymoon Inn.

Thank you to Sarah Butterfly for taking the time to show us the placenta and how the baby fits into the sac. The tree was beautiful and it was super special that you found someone to encapsulate it for me. No postpardum depression for me... thanks to you. What a gift.

Thank you to Kewal with www.YogaAndBirth.com who encapsulated my placenta for me. I didn't know with my other births that the placenta can be made into medicine, using a traditional chinese medicine approach, to support the mother's postpartum adjustment. I wish I would have known this before. It really helps!!


Thank you to Jen my midwife in Oregon who always knows just what to say. Who still answers the phone when I call 10 years after my first birth even though she is busy running 2 birth centers Waterbirth.net , mamababyhaiti.org , and has 9 kids. I love you Jennifer.

Thank you to Grandma and Grandpa Noble for supporting us emotionally, spiritually, physically, and for keeping us fed and warm. For encouraging us to have the baby at the sanctuary and for making it to every one of the prenatal appointments. You both were so committed up until the very end. Jonathan and I can never express how much we appreciate all that you do for us. You two are our earthly angels. Love the Nose Frida, and Precious Images clothing, neck wrap, Will's Ugg boots and all his clothes, I could go on and on and on.



Thank you to my Dad for being there. It meant alot to have you be apart of the experience and for you to bring Markayla meant the world. I needed you and you were there for me and for that I am grateful. You have been the best Dad to me.
My Dad and his Mom


Markayla and the girls loving on Will.


Thank you to Joni for watching our big dogs and filling up the pool. You will always be soul grandma to the kids and a friend to Jonathan and I that we will always cherish.

Thank you Scott, April,and Zack for hosting us and our kids and dogs. You are always welcome to come "squat" at out house for a month. I mean it. You survived!!! Thank you for your support and for loving the kids as your own. Zack, thank you for holding Will skin to skin shortly after he was born you are so mature for your age. Scott, you know in your heart the baby is named after you too!!





Thank you to Melissa and her family for hosting us for all the holidays of 2010 and for opening your home and your hearts. I can not wait to see you blosum as a midwife.


Thank you Pam for your friendship this past year. For inspiring me to turn my "Grief into Grace". Your heart work... (I meant to say artwork but I think I like it as heart work)has helped so much in my healing process. I needed the kind of friendship that you have been able to give this year. Always available by phone to hash over anything and everything. You will make it to the birth next time. I will have you on super speed dial.. I was invited to 4 births before I finally made it to little Noah's birth.

http://www.piperrainpress.com
http://piperrainpress.blogspot.com/
http://www.piperrainstore.com/




Thank you Dawn (Doula Dawn, Childbirth Doula and Photographer)for leading me to Marinah. You were so right when you said "if you want a love affair with your midwife", that she would be the one. I love and adore her and have so much respect for her.

Amy wholemamawholechild.com and Julianne aka nuts and twigs, "my heart friends", "my mama friends"..... you are with me always. My love for you both goes so deep. I am the mama that I am today because of you. Your example and your friendship carries me. We will be old ladies someday sitting on the porch talking about our kids and how they are all grown up.



Thank you to my husband for making babies with me. My heart is yours forever.

4 comments:

  1. I loved your birth story and as a doula, I can't wait to help mamas birth their babies at this wonderful piece of paradise...The Babymoon Inn!

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  2. I love you all so much! I keep wondering how I got so lucky...
    xo

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  3. I love you so much, Amanda. I hated not being there with you, but am so glad that your Arizona family got to be with you to welcome baby Will-- and that you had such amazing women there to care for you. I can't wait to meet him!

    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
    Auntie Amy

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  4. Love the Henna and the belly casts. Love the imagery in the henna. Congratulations.

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